How to Approach Women With No Rejection

Prejudice. What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too…

Before I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.

Well, it’s not a cuss word, but it’s dirty because no one wants to talk about it.

That word is: Prejudice.

What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too.

I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we had no money.

I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po’ little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.

---

I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a little longer that year.

Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No, that’s no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron’s office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny’s dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.

My heart sank.

Right then, I knew I didn’t get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos was out in the cold.

I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to earn.

And now I wouldn’t get it, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was the good ol’ boy’s club, and I didn’t meet their membership requirements.

Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not being “fair,” and all. It really wasn’t even Vinnie’s fault. He couldn’t know.

But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their lousy job.

Of course, that wasn’t much consolation. Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.

No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back up again.

So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos’ childhood stories… Well, it’s because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn’t have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in another way.

You’re a victim of women’s prejudice, and you might not be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.

Let’s break down the word a bit.

Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.

Get this: It’s been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.

I just finished this great book, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions without us even knowing about it.

In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don’t know we’re seeing, but we’re making judgments about other people based upon them.

Now something I want to add to this is that women are making them about YOU without you knowing about it.

Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You’ll show them because they’re impossible to control entirely.

Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not completely, as I’ll explain.)

I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating the symptoms rather than the disease.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing if you are trying to learn a ton of new “tricks” and seduction/hypnosis tools without training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and “negging” techniques don’t work right if you don’t know how to properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.

Sure, you can “peacock,” but you have to have the right belief system to back it up or you’ll come across as a dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.

There’s some good news here, though. You can learn how to override a woman’s “Blink” response to you by bypassing it entirely.

That’s right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her life.

After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and all that comes with it …

… but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her in the right way.

Just like a rock concert where you can’t get past the big dudes guarding the band from groupies.

All you need is a backstage pass. That backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are -

Confident

Secure

Interesting

FunFor a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about “girl power.”I felt like I had nothing in common with them.But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good conversation, and they work like a charm on just about everyone you’ll meet. These elements can be learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.Here’s one of them: Start with a contextual “opener.”

What is a contextual opener? Well, it’s one that obeys the rule of “Where the hell are you?”

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don’t ask her if she saw the fight out front. Don’t tell her you want to read her palm. Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only will it work better, but you’ll be much more believable with the words. It’s a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

“Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I’m planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter.”

There you go.

Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No. But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she’ll be much more likely to respond.

Now, after she responds, chances are that she’ll be a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman’s shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure her and carry the conversation forward.

“Now if I’d known you weren’t an expert on deli meats I would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked friendly.” Shrug and say this with a slight smile. “Are you here doing some shopping after work?”

And just gently carry it forward…

---

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male“, “Approach Women - NOW!“, “Alpha Immersion” and “Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion“.

This article is geared towards Men but, Women can apply and just reverse the roles.

Let’s take a look at some in the ways people usually meet? The traditional ways are parties, clubs, grocery stores and the list goes on and do forget about online dating.

Most people if asked “what would be your ideal partner”? They couldn’t really tell you. I believe they couldn’t tell you because the the mind remembers events that are impressionable good or bad. Since most people have not experience a good relationship they only remember the bad.  They could tell you what they don’t want. Defining what you want in your life partner is Key.

So take some time to identify what your ideal partner would be like.

Here are some key items that may be important:

• Hygiene
• Style
• Height
• Weight
• Body type
• Personality
• Education

…and this list could go on for- ever.

Use this as a guideline not something etched in stone. So, for example you are looking for some-one 5′5″ tall with brown hair and 110lbs. and you meet this amazing women that is 5′2″ with black hair don’t dismiss her because she is not perfect. You also need to have absolute “deal breakers” like, if she is a smoker it is a “deal breaker”. Remember, there is no perfect  flower and the same will hold true for your potential partner.

Now here is the hard part. Define what you would think your ideal partner would look for in you. You need to be completely honest with your-self for this work.  If you are asking your-self “why is that important”? We’ll the same hold true for them looking at you.  All people have standards some are higher than other but, we all have standards.

If you have completed those two items it’s time to start looking for this ideal person.  This will be like finding a needle in a haystack and often almost 9 times out of 10 you won’t find this person where you are looking.

Some of these idea’s will give you a better chance of finding that person.

When finding your ideal partner you need to have something in common. Even if it’s something small, like you both like the same cheese. When in your search pick out a couple of passions that you have. Now out of those on your list you should pick out the ones that a women would have an interest. For example, Deer Hunting may be a passion of yours but not a-lot of women deer hunt.  Not, to say they don’t Deer hunt but, the numbers are few. Let say you picked cars. Women like car’s but not the same way guy’s do. Just the same, they will go to races, auctions, swap…ect.  Hope you get the idea.

The above ideas are actually the easy part. The hard part is having the qualities that attract women. This is were a date coach can help you find and attract that ideal partner. The qualities that you may  need work on are most important!
You may meet that ideal person but she is turned off or not attracted because you don’t show confidence, body language, humor, style…and the list goes on.  The things that need to happen, for two people to get together are huge and you need to be prepared.

When choosing a coach you should pick someone that has a lot of experience in the dating world.  Someone like my self is going to give the years of experience of dating …we’ll lets just say with a lot of women.   The next thing you need to look for is are they natural or trained. What I mean by that is, did they learn from some-one else how to attract women or are they a natural with women?  They both there advantages and dis-advantages.  Some of the positives a trained person can give you are the explanation why a women mite be attracted to you but, may not have the experience with certain women. Where the natural  can help you with the How but may not be able to explain the Why. The Ideal is someone like myself who is both.

You do always have a choice.  You can learn on your own and may take years or you can find a good coach that make the road to finding your ideal partner a fun and exciting journey.

-Phx

http://www.urdatecoach.com