Do you find that bloody depressing, or motivating and exciting? I want everyone out there to remember that this situation is entirely under YOUR control…

VALENTINE’S DAY is here again.

Do you find that bloody depressing, or motivating and exciting?

I want everyone out there to remember that this situation is entirely under YOUR control.

WOMEN are not the source of your feast or your famine. YOU are.

It’s easy to allow yourself to believe that your love life is under the control of “destiny” or some other vehicle of fate, because that allows us to cop out when we need to.

Hey, look, we’ve all done it. I STILL do it once in a while. It feels a lot better to believe that it’s not my fault.

Here’s a little quiz:

SITUATION: You’re in a bar or at a friend’s party, and you see a hot woman that you’d like to meet.

A) You walk over and comfortably start a conversation. She is put at ease, and you eventually get her number and a meeting setup the following week.
B) You walk over and uncomfortably try to start a conversation; she gets uneasy after a while and those dreaded uncomfortable silences creep in. She eventually tells you she has to get back to her friends and walks away.
C) You stay in your chair and find the reasons that she wouldn’t be right for you, never taking the risk of connecting with her.

B and C are what happens most of the time to most guys. And it reinforces your inertia the next time you get an opportunity to meet a woman. Do this enough times and you get trapped in what I call the “Downward Spiral.”

It’s like stage fright. Have you ever had to do something in front of people and find yourself with a serious case of nerves? You’re shaking for hours (if not days) before the event. I used to really HATE having to make a presentation. My legs would get really shaky, and my stomach would knot up.

It’s unnerving to do these new and different things, but you have to remember that you’ll have “butterflies” in your stomach until you get the hang of it. The trick is to get your butterflies to fly IN FORMATION. Make that energy work FOR you, not against you.

You see, once you learn enough about how this game works, you’ll feel a new sense of confidence. The nervousness will still be there for a little bit, until you get the hang of engaging in conversation and saying the things that have the right affect on a woman. But now it will give you POWER, not FEAR.

EVERYTHING you’ve done in your life was new and scary at one point.

Even WALKING was a challenge for you. I remember watching my sister try, using the coffee table as a crutch. She’d wobble and fall, and then keep trying it until she got it. Even if it meant a few dings on her forehead from falling.

We kept trying because we didn’t care about what other people thought. We just knew we had to succeed.

What happens to a lot of people is that they will turn down one of two paths in their lives:

PATH 1: They stop risking and trying, because that means that they MIGHT fail. They get addicted to protecting their Bubble of Comfort. They will usually find a way to avoid looking at it this way, though. They prefer to justify their failure in advance (i.e., never act because they already know what would happen), thus “saving” themselves the pain. Instead, they “save” themselves from success and a better life. They become terminally AVERAGE.

PATH 2: They keep risking and learning and growing. They begin to understand that if you’re NOT failing in life regularly, you’re NOT GROWING at all. They get a taste of the rewards of perseverance and learn one of life’s most unknown secrets: The best prizes in life are just an inch past your highest level of reluctance.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are afraid to act, ask yourself this one question: WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Then imagine it happening, and ACCEPT IT. Completely accept it and the consequences. Is it really THAT bad?

Once you do that, you’ll find that taking action is EASY.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be lonely or depressing ever again.

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Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male“, “Approach Women - NOW!“, “Alpha Immersion” and “Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion“.

How to Approach Women With No Rejection

Prejudice. What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too…

Before I give up one of my secrets, I want to talk about a dirty word with you.

Well, it’s not a cuss word, but it’s dirty because no one wants to talk about it.

That word is: Prejudice.

What do you think of when you hear this word? For a lot of people it stirs up some anger and bad feelings. It used to do the same for me, too.

I grew up Italian and poor in a city in Upstate New York, near Buffalo. I used to catch a lot of grief for my nationality, but also because we had no money.

I remember distinctly one summer when I was working for the town. I had a few weeks left in the program to earn some money, and I was a po’ little 15 year old kid. I just needed a few bucks to buy some stuff I needed for the school year.

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I remember sitting in the office of the town recreation board supervisor. A big fat guy named Ron, if my memory serves. I sat there in his front lobby for a while to wait and see if I would get the job for a little longer that year.

Before my turn came to talk to Ron to find out, in walks big Vinny. No, that’s no dumb mafia joke. Vinny was the son of a local business owner who had some clout in the area. Well, big Vinny and Big Daddy go into Ron’s office, while I watch Ron slap Vinny’s dad on the back like they were long-lost brothers. The door closes behind them and their laughter.

My heart sank.

Right then, I knew I didn’t get the job. Vinny was all set, and Carlos was out in the cold.

I remember sitting there with that disappointed feeling in my gut, knowing that this little rich kid was going to screw me out of my few extra dollars for the summer. Money that daddy could have given him in a minute, but would take me a month to earn.

And now I wouldn’t get it, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. It was the good ol’ boy’s club, and I didn’t meet their membership requirements.

Now, I could have gotten all mad about it, stomped my feet about it not being “fair,” and all. It really wasn’t even Vinnie’s fault. He couldn’t know.

But I remember having another realization. I thought that if Ron was stupid enough to hire a lazy dweeb like Vinny, then they can keep their lousy job.

Of course, that wasn’t much consolation. Until I came up with another realization: I would WIN.

No matter how much the odds were stacked against me in life, I would prevail. I could have my dick kicked in the dirt, and I would get back up again.

So why am I telling you this? Yet another of Carlos’ childhood stories… Well, it’s because the unfair situation that I found myself in doesn’t have to happen to you. Even if it comes up in another way.

You’re a victim of women’s prejudice, and you might not be aware of it. Just the same way I was as a kid, you are now. And it has nothing to do with your appearance or color of skin or even your income.

Let’s break down the word a bit.

Pre-jud-ice.
Pre-judge.
To judge too soon.

Get this: It’s been shown in some recent studies that we make snap decisions about people based on facial expressions and body language that takes place in less than the BLINK OF AN EYE. Literally.

I just finished this great book, “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell. It’s a study of how the human brain makes all these complicated decisions without us even knowing about it.

In his book, he talks about these indicators and signals that we don’t know we’re seeing, but we’re making judgments about other people based upon them.

Now something I want to add to this is that women are making them about YOU without you knowing about it.

Some of them will change if you take control of them, but a lot of them are tied DIRECTLY to your sense of self-esteem. You’ll show them because they’re impossible to control entirely.

Whoah. Think about that for a second. There are a bunch of things you can control about your appearance and so forth, but a lot of these behaviors are OUTSIDE your control. (Well, not completely, as I’ll explain.)

I think this means that a lot of guys out there are treating the symptoms rather than the disease.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing if you are trying to learn a ton of new “tricks” and seduction/hypnosis tools without training yourself and working on your INNER game first. All those cool hypnotic words and “negging” techniques don’t work right if you don’t know how to properly communicate your Alpha value to a woman.

Sure, you can “peacock,” but you have to have the right belief system to back it up or you’ll come across as a dweeb in a top hat and eye-liner.

There’s some good news here, though. You can learn how to override a woman’s “Blink” response to you by bypassing it entirely.

That’s right. When you demonstrate Alpha Male confidence, you are creating the persona (a REAL persona, not a fake) that will shut down or short circuit her subconscious attempts to shut you out of her life.

After all, on one hand, a woman wants love and affection and all that comes with it …

… but on the other hand she also wants a trouble-free life. She has enough drama already, and she wants to avoid any possible heartache. So she creates a lot of fancy protection mechanisms to keep you from getting by without impressing her in the right way.

Just like a rock concert where you can’t get past the big dudes guarding the band from groupies.

All you need is a backstage pass. That backstage pass is a concise method to approach women in any situation. To show, through your verbal power, that you are -

Confident

Secure

Interesting

FunFor a long time, I had a problem talking with women. They just seemed like an alien life form to me. They liked makeup and sleepovers and pop songs about “girl power.”I felt like I had nothing in common with them.But I finally figured out the amazing core elements of good conversation, and they work like a charm on just about everyone you’ll meet. These elements can be learned and practiced with just about anyone, anywhere.Here’s one of them: Start with a contextual “opener.”

What is a contextual opener? Well, it’s one that obeys the rule of “Where the hell are you?”

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don’t ask her if she saw the fight out front. Don’t tell her you want to read her palm. Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation. Not only will it work better, but you’ll be much more believable with the words. It’s a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

“Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I’m planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter.”

There you go.

Does it make her toes tingle and her ni pples pop out? No. But it makes SENSE for where you ARE. And she’ll be much more likely to respond.

Now, after she responds, chances are that she’ll be a little overwhelmed by this unexpected interest and may be a bit bashful. (Guys often misinterpret a woman’s shyness as disinterest.) This is where you have to reassure her and carry the conversation forward.

“Now if I’d known you weren’t an expert on deli meats I would have asked someone else. But hey, you looked friendly.” Shrug and say this with a slight smile. “Are you here doing some shopping after work?”

And just gently carry it forward…

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Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male“, “Approach Women - NOW!“, “Alpha Immersion” and “Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion“.